Twelve

Wy twelve on day ten? Well, it suddenly dawned on me that you'll be travelling and bopping around Blighty for the next few days and the likelihood of you checking this blog'd be about nil. So, here they are, all in one go - the last three days of pre-Christmas.

And what better way to bring the process to a close than with a cute Christmas bear (which I noticed the other day is the Skype emoticon for hug).

Oh just got it - bear hug. Well, der...

See ya Sunday :) :) :) :)

Eleven

Christmas just wouldn't be complete without a pair of silly reindeer horns, now would it?

I've sent a copy of this pic to Kay and Larry to make sure they pressure you into wearing them.

Actually, you'd fit right in with all the other antlers in the cabin, don'tya think?

Ten

You can't see this one properly ((yet another dodgy picture - obviously my photographic skills leave a lot to be desired).

Basically, it's a mug with Santa beaming from it - just the thing for those warming cups of hot chocolate when you get back in from a hard day building snowmen. Yeah. Right.

At least it has a Santa on it. And in case you were in any doubt, the labels says “Holiday Mug”.

Honest, I wonder what people are thinking sometimes. The other day I saw a card that said “It's Christmas”. Oh really! Coz I like never noticed. I thought all those lights and tinsel were there all year round.

Nine

Yep, we're back to the tacky track!

The obscure little ball thang (I know, it’s an appalling photo) next to the (vibrating) Santa is a plastic angel in a tree ornament that lights up. Sorry, I think it’s just wrong to combine fairy lights with angels and baubles. Wrong in a profoundly bad-taste sort of way. That didn’t stop me buying it, of course.

I feel sure it’ll be some lurid blue colour when you pull the little paper tab out.

You can put it in the window, right next to the flashing snowflake.

Eight

I can just imagine you doing your homework with these.

Especially at Sham el Naseem.

Actually, even if you don't use them at school (as if), I still think they're fun. And maybe they'll come in handy for all those wholesome Christmas party games you'll be playing with the Taylor Nautner lookalikes.

Seven

And hot on the heels of day five, we have a candy cane-scented candle.

Candles are big business in these parts. They come in all shapes, sizes and smells.

My favourites are the religious ones that come in glass jars with Jesus or Mary or someone else holy on them (I actually bought one today athe the dollar store). The only trouble (and I am at a loss to explain this) is that they don't seem to do them for Christmas, which seems like an over-sight to me.

Six

Who said Christmas doesn't have to be tacky? Course it does. And this just adds fuel to the fire (Good King Wenceslas-style) (if you're familiar with the song).

Just so’s you know what it is, it’s a plastic snowflake that lights up (in a flashing sort of way). Plus it has a suction cup so’s you can stick it to a window or summat (that way perfect strangers can tell how classy you are).

This isn’t the most tasteless bit of Christmas tack you’ll be getting, by the way. Oh no!

Batteries are included, so you're good (or bad) to go.

Five

And yet more candy! Will it never stop?

These puppies don’t really need an introduction, do they? A timeless classic without which no Christmas is complete.

(At least, that's what an ad might have to say about ’em.)

And I defy you to munch your way through them before you head back to Blighty.

Go on. I dare ya.

Four

If the last few days are anything to go by, you’ll probably have real snow in England . And tons of it too. But just in case there’s an unforseen Indian summer. you'll be just a shake away from your very own Arctic conditions.

I must say, though, this snow-globe is a bit crazy side. A snowman in a Santa suit!? Go figure. Personally, I think he should be wearing reindeer horns - then we'd have three Christmas icons in one instead of just the two.

Three

More candy! OMG! A solid chocolate Nutcracker (from the ballet, natch). And we’re only on day three.

I would say there’s not going to be any more. But you know what, I just can’t promise.

Anyway, it is Christmas (or nearly), the season of good cheer, over-indulgence and as many sugar-based goodies as you can get you lips around.

And in support that very assertion, I call upon the magic pixies (milk chocolate with magic popping candy) (it says so on the label) to bear witness.

Two

Yum, yum, yum Christmas candy! Not as nifty as last year’s, I know, but at least the colours are right. And actually, probably not nearly as yummy as the M’n’Ms either (Whatever happened to those, by the way? Who d’you eat ’em with?). But, at least, you do get a little plastic Santa sat on top so there’s some level of compensation.